Monday, February 8, 2010 Posted in Life
I think I’m having creators block. Very similar to writer’s block, but worse I think. And I’m gonna blame the Project 365. I think it’s zapping my ability to be creative because of the pressure to put something up here everyday. But then, I’m blaming something intangible instead of blaming myself. My blog isn’t really what I want it to be.
I’m being vulnerable saying these things. I realize you, friends, clients, potential clients, artists, writers, photographers…all of you who come here to check up, check out or compare, are seeing an unfulfilled idea. I’m trying to figure out my personality type within this medium because as it appears, I’m a free for all kind of girl and don’t really target any one thing specifically. Which is good in some ways but too chaotic and un-defining in other ways. It’s very easy to get caught up in the current fads of photography. I guess in some ways, I’ve become a follower instead of a leader in my medium. A leader of my own insight, creative ability, and artistic impression. I’ve become what I think I should be, instead of who I really am. I’ve felt this way for a while but have been unable to fully bring it to a conscious level.
Until now.
And I’m afraid. I’m afraid to admit that. Because that makes me look like I don’t know what I’m doing. Or where I’m going. Or that perhaps I should be doing this at all. And Project 365 is what has helped me to see and understand my discontent. Am I here for me or for you? Am I here to create and be artistic or am I here to fulfill somebody else’s expectations? Am I contributing or am I clogging up the atmosphere? And I think right now, I’m being more left brained about being right brained than right brained being the boss. lol.
I’m going to be writing more about my struggle and trying to find a way to come out of this foggy place. I hope you’ll stay with me. I hope you’ll still come and support me. I appreciate all of you who come, silent though you are, I appreciate you.
My daughter, Mr. Snowman and a friend.
Really, it’s only been 38 days? YES, I am going to whine about it every few days cause this is hard (insert Will Ferrel’s devil voice)!
We here in Ohio have been hit by a crazy snow storm..18 inches of it. And I mean it came with a fury. It started Friday afternoon and didn’t stop until noon Saturday. This snow will be here until spring comes in April. I swear it. But I haven’t let it slow me down, I’m still getting my workouts in and have even been on two runs outdoors with great success. Running in these conditions is a completely different animal than running on a smooth even pavement. I loved it. And now that I know I can run in below 20 temperatures and snow, I’m not going to wait for it warm up to get out and do it. If it’s a run day, I’m going outdoors. The challenge has made me feel alive. So here are a few from the blizzard:
Taken with both Canon 40D and my trusty little Canon PowerShot SD800..various times of day…
The beginning….
Waiting on a train…
Hmmm…..??
Grocery store mayhem….
Early dismissal. But this dad had the right idea…and the neighbors got their new stove delivered just in time…
And the final…Saturday morning….
It gets better. More tomorrow.
Blizzard. More pictures tomorrow.
Here is image 37:365:
I’ve been reading a book lately that I’ve had for years and years in my book collection. I haven’t cracked it open in probably 18 years. But while I was rummaging around within some books I had packed away, I found this one. I remember the time and reason for becoming the owner of this particular book. I was going through a very personal time of loss and change. I was discovering some new things spiritually and this book became part of a very deep study I had subjected myself to. A woman, who I highly respect, and aspire to become more like spiritually, recommended this book to me. Yes, indeed it helped me through a dark night of the soul. Yes, it brought me back to God. Yes, I highly recommend it and yes, it will remain within my spiritual growth arsenal of books. I’ve been doing some personal journaling again. I’ve gotten away from that, because of the blogging or facebooking or tweeting. It’s so easy to forget that sometimes the world doesn’t need to know what’s going on every second of my day…ha ha, but that God desires time away with me. My journal is being used to speak to Him and He to me. I’m getting back to listening. I’m getting back to that quiet place when I can find the quiet space to do it in…life gets in the way and I get distracted. In re-reading this book, I am reminded to get back to basics with the spiritual disciplines. My journal, my book.
Image 36:365:
I took this image from my upstairs bathroom. I opened the window and removed the screen. There happened to be a single engine plane circling the area off in the distance above the housetops.
I tried several attempts at getting as clear a shot as I could to distinguish that this was indeed an airplane. Then the plane tipped its wing just right. This is the original untouched image sooc. And the retouched image using Florabella Retro Vintage with a scratched window texture I found on flickr. With added curves for exposure.
Just wanted to make a mention of these blogs. I’m enjoying them so much…I think they are good for the soul. At least mine.
Tea and Brie/You are not alone.
Jorjah-b
It’s Just How I See Things
Feet.
Always in the kitchen. Always.
Here is image 34:365. Canon 40D. Taken midday.
This is straight out of camera. This is more of the same weather that we’ve been having. It’s bitterly cold. Why expect anything less from living in Ohio. I keep thinking each winter will be milder than the last, but it never is. At lease we are into February. Spring is coming…but it never comes when I pray it will…the past few winters we’ve actually turned the heat off in May. Yeah, I said it. May. 
Image 32 down below, was taken just two days ago. The snow had finally melted, but now this.
Here is image 33:365 taken this morning around 8:45am. No editing. Taken from my front porch. The sky looks cool though.
Uh oh. Am I already starting to fall behind on 365? I missed yesterdays post. Only because I thought to take Sunday off and try to drum up some photo ideas.
I seem to do well with shooting static objects…those are easy, like the little shed image I have here for Day 32. But I find people more interesting. I like activity and life in photography. Something that tells a story. I get lazy though. It’s more work to find the story. Or to simply think about an ordinary moment as being story. Such as my image for Day 31, Choices; Which is my daughter shopping for herself with a stash of her own money. I love my dslr camera, but I really love my little Canon PowerShot SD800 point and shoot. In my purse, it’s ready for anything. And I use it a lot. A lot! Must do more portraits though. Oh the pressure!
Image 32 is here and image 31 is beneath it. The shed image was taken at sunset.
Both taken with my little Canon PowerShot SD800.
by Cindy
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