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	<title>Cindy Knull &#187; creativity</title>
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		<title>Blocked</title>
		<link>http://www.cindyknull.com/archives/813</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Feb 2010 17:04:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cindy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[creativity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.cindyknull.com/?p=813</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I think I&#8217;m having creators block.  Very similar to writer&#8217;s block, but worse I think.  And I&#8217;m gonna blame the Project 365.  I think it&#8217;s zapping my ability to be creative because of the pressure to put something up here everyday.   But then, I&#8217;m blaming something intangible instead of blaming myself.  My blog isn&#8217;t really [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I think I&#8217;m having creators block.  Very similar to writer&#8217;s block, but worse I think.  And I&#8217;m gonna blame the Project 365.  I think it&#8217;s zapping my ability to be creative because of the pressure to put something up here everyday.   But then, I&#8217;m blaming something intangible instead of blaming myself.  My blog isn&#8217;t really what I want it to be.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m being vulnerable saying these things.  I realize you, friends, clients, potential clients, artists, writers, photographers&#8230;all of you who come here to check up, check out or compare, are seeing an unfulfilled idea.  I&#8217;m trying to figure out my personality type within this medium because as it appears, I&#8217;m a free for all kind of girl and don&#8217;t really target any one thing specifically.  Which is good in some ways but too chaotic and un-defining in other ways.   It&#8217;s very easy to get caught up in the current fads of photography.  I guess in some ways, I&#8217;ve become a follower instead of a leader in my medium.  A leader of my own insight, creative ability, and artistic impression.  I&#8217;ve become what I think I should be, instead of who I really am.   I&#8217;ve felt this way for a while but have been unable to fully bring it to a conscious level.</p>
<p>Until now.</p>
<p>And I&#8217;m afraid.  I&#8217;m afraid to admit that.  Because that makes me look like I don&#8217;t know what I&#8217;m doing.  Or where I&#8217;m going.  Or that perhaps I should be doing this at all.  And Project 365 is what has helped me to see and understand my discontent.  Am I here for me or for you?  Am I here to create and be artistic or am I here to fulfill somebody else&#8217;s expectations?    Am I contributing or am I clogging up the atmosphere?  And I think right now, I&#8217;m being more left brained about being right brained than right brained being the boss.  lol.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m going to be writing more about my struggle and trying to find a way to come out of this foggy place.  I hope you&#8217;ll stay with me.  I hope you&#8217;ll still come and support me.   I appreciate all of you who come, silent though you are, I appreciate you.</p>
<p><a rel="attachment wp-att-817" href="http://www.cindyknull.com/archives/813/selfportrait2"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-817" src="http://www.cindyknull.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/selfportrait2.jpg" alt="" width="800" height="600" /></a></p>
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